What if there was someone you really wanted to get away from but you couldn’t. This person keeps following you everywhere, all day, every day. Can you imagine how frustrating that could be? Isn’t it good that you sometimes have the opportunity to get away from others, at least, for a while?
You get the chance to breathe, catch some air, have a break or however you’d like to put it. That annoying teacher, the mean boss, the too attached girlfriend/boyfriend who doesn’t give you any space at all, the pestering parent, that very demanding spouse, the noisy friends, troublesome siblings or even the adrenaline pumped kids.
Sometimes, you just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk/listen to anybody. You don’t want to see anyone. Not even on the TV, radio or mobile phone. So, you look forward to opportunities to run away, you find reasons, you make excuses, plan an escape route basically. And then you get away, the feeling is good and each moment away, cherished.
Let me break the news here. There is actually one person you can never ever get away from. For the rest of your life. Till you leave this earth. You know the popular saying, “You can run but you can’t hide?”, in this case, you can’t even run.
Maybe you are thinking I will say the person is God right? Well, No. It’s not God. Yes, God is everywhere and with us all the time but sometimes, we leave His presence and He is not forceful. He just lets us be, gently calling us back, till we decide to return to His presence.
The only person you can never get away from is YOU! You are always with yourself all day, every day. Since the day you were born, the only person you have never been away from is you. You will never leave your own presence. Some people run away from other people’s company, just to go and find their worst enemy (themselves) waiting for them in the room. I think (personal opinion) that if most people loved their own company, there would be less suicide in the world.
Imagine not being able to get away from someone you don’t like. That’s exactly how it is when you don’t like yourself. If you do not enjoy your own company, you are in real trouble because you will always be in the company of someone you don’t enjoy being around.
If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, it becomes almost impossible to have a healthy relationship with others. If you don’t enjoy your own company, you can hardly enjoy other people’s company. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t really love others in a healthy way and they likely won’t love you in a healthy way too. How can you give what you don’t have?
This is why self-love is really very important. It is necessary. You need to know who you are and love that person unapologetically. When you have a very good opinion about yourself, nothing anybody else says matters. Having a good opinion about yourself doesn’t mean you don’t recognize that you are not perfect. It means you love and accept yourself even with your imperfections. This even makes it easier for you to love others with their imperfections too.
The most successful people are very comfortable in their own company. They don’t feel the need to fill in their time with irrelevant relationships or activities. Such people don’t find it hard to say no to a lot of things and don’t get affected by FOMO (fear of missing out).
When you learn to love your own company, you become far more careful about who you spend your time with.
I have found out that loving your own company usually yields quality life because you use that time to refresh, think, strategize and make solid plans. Most of the best decisions are taken when we are by ourselves. This is because we are able to filter out all the noise and confusion in the world and listen to our deepest, truest and most truthful selves.
Most ‘AHA’ moments come when we are alone. I have a friend who says her inspiration comes when she’s alone on the toilet, pooping. She loves her alone moments in the bathroom and wouldn’t trade it for meaningless things.
I know that being alone can sometimes be boring and often leads to idleness. So, to avoid the “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop” thing from happening to you, you need to have a really healthy relationship with yourself and enjoy your own company.
Here are 4 tips for making your own company worthwhile, enjoyable and something to look forward to:
Tips for enjoying your own company
- Turn your personal space into a place where you really can’t wait to get back to. Your personal space could be your house, apartment, dorm room, your room in the family house, or any space where you are all by yourself most of the time. Decorate it with things you love to see, make it cozy, use room fragrances or scented candles. Make it comfortable and special, in a way that you would enjoy all by yourself.
- Give yourself treats regularly. Treats could mean different things to different people. Someone might treat himself to a movie, some to music, some to a hot bath or even an interesting book. Another person to games, a hearty meal or just a nap. Whatever you enjoy, learn to give it to yourself without waiting or asking someone else to give it to you.
- Express your creativity. Do you like to cook, paint, sing, write or dance? What about exercising or making videos, or making up? You might love gardening, or sewing or even cracking jokes. I believe everyone has something they love doing and that thing could simply be the creativity in them calling out. Express your creativity when you’re alone, enjoy them, and others will enjoy them too.
- Talk to yourself. It is just like talking to your best friend. Say good things about and to yourself. Speak out loud, or subtly, just express anything you need to express and unwind. Keep yourself company, gist with yourself and speak to yourself.
Maxwell Maltz says: “If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone”. Besides, you are the only person you can never get away from, so, it makes a lot of sense to be best friends with yourself right?
Yes, it’s nice to be in the company of others, it’s good to have people around. Having relationships with good people is good. But, there will be times these people won’t be around and all you’d be left with is your own self. Each time you are in your own company, let it be luxury and not punishment.
Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.
I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this post. Please feel free to share anything with me in the comment box below.